The Holidays are approaching and a pregnant woman is carrying God's greatest gift everywhere she goes. This is a season she will always remember because of the little frame of reference she carries within her this year. This little package can get mighty heavy when dealing with social commitments that have been established in, and may be better suited to, non-pregnant times.

I am writing this for both my pregnant patients and for those of you who will have the opportunity to make this season better for someone you love who is expecting.

First, the dreaded topic of weight gain; I try to be easy-going about the increases in weight I see in my patients over the Holiday season. This weight gain is still not healthy in the long run. A woman should only gain between 30 and 35 pounds during her nine months. If 15 pounds are put on in one month, that can get things a bit ahead of schedule. I recommend a woman increase her caloric intake by 400 calories a day. I don't want to he a party pooper, but just be aware. If you have a feast to attend, eat less the day before and the day after to balance things out. If you are hosting a pregnant woman, do not pressure her to eat all the time. She is only eating for two, not four or five!

There is the other side of the coin as well. The nausea associated with early pregnancy can put a damper on the enjoyment of the delicious, rich, greasy, spicy foods that are so popular during this season. There is not much I can advise here. For many during this time, even cooking such dishes is too much to ask. A Holiday meal at a nice restaurant may cost a little more, but offers a variety of dishes to select from for both the mother-to-he and her guests. Everyone can make it another year without having their "favorite dish" prepared.

Shopping is both one of the most enjoyable aspects of this time, as well as the most grueling, especially if one waits for the last minute. If it's November and you are 7 or 8 months along, this is not the year to do last minute shopping! Get a catalogue or shop now. The late third trimester is no time to be at a mall battling crowds. Swelling, back pain and even blood pressure problems can be aggravated by prolonged strenuous stressful activity. For a variety of reasons, bed rest may be required and shopping may not be permitted at all.

Travel is also more common during this time of year. Traveling in the first and second trimester is both safe and enjoyable assuming there are not any ongoing problems. I try to discourage my patients from traveling in the third trimester because that is when we really must deal with the pregnancy as two patients. Problems away from home late in pregnancy can cause both medical difficulties as well as the inconvenience of being stranded in another city for these problems.

For more information on traveling, call my office. Of course, a pregnancy is a great excuse to get out of going somewhere you don't really want to go in any trimester!

There also are other social settings that may be required; everything from church functions, to candle lightings, to office parties. Dressing can be a problem. Do you buy a maternity Christmas gown? Well, even regular Christmas gowns are not very practical as far as re-use goes. Here again, a key issue is communication with those around you. Pregnancy isn't a disease and it doesn't represent a weakness. It is a time that a woman's body donates itself to the creation of another life, and those around her need to take that into consideration. If an expecting mother leaves a party early, if she doesn't eat much and won't drink, it doesn't mean she isn't having a good time. It just means she is taking care of herself and her unborn child, a responsibility that will make this season a blessing for many years to come.

I did mention alcohol consumption, and I have to advise against it. I can't say a glass of wine at a party will jeopardize the baby, but not drinking is safer and it makes a statement to those around you about your level of concern and commitment to the pregnancy. This is more of that communication I mentioned, and it should be greeted with respect and encouragement as with anything that is done in the baby's best interest.

I don't want to make it sound like the world gangs up on a pregnant woman for the Holidays. I am saying this is a special time for her and she may need to make some adjustments and she may need to assert herself a bit to make this Holiday season the best it can be for all concerned.